Theme, Schmeme. Greetings from the oh-my-word--this-is-crazy-but-awesome Schelhaas Seven household. Be grateful I’m too tired to type 3 or 4 theme-ridden pages (even though I’m not lacking for material), as I’ve been threatening the expansion of this thing for years. However, I fear I’ll lose my readership entirely. Smile. So here it is, straight up and simple, 2 pages of Schelhaas happenings. And HAPPENINGS we had. And then some.
After 8 years, our dear baby Bryant’s legacy was brilliantly fulfilled in the adoption of Bella Adanech and Bode Samuel Schelhaas in May. We received their referral information in January and were officially awarded guardianship of the siblings in the Ethiopian courts on March 27th. Leaving our other three children in the capable hands of my in-laws, we left in mid-May for a 12-day life-changing adventure, stopping over in London to play and prepare (me), and work (Brant). We found out that the Brits actually get dressed for fire drills in the middle of the night – we were the only ones in our PJs at 3 AM when the alarm went off in our hotel! Having brunch with my college roommate and her husband was a highlight, for sure. My mom met us in London (she was NOT missing out on her grandchildren’s reception, and we’re so glad she didn’t), and we left for Ethiopia. We arrived on May 18th in Addis Ababa, and within hours were on a bus en route to the orphanage. There really aren’t words to describe that drive… my heart nearly leapt out of my chest, and I bounded out of the van before it had even come to a stop in the dusty parking lot of the orphanage, wiping my tears all the way to the door. I had waited years for this “moment.” We didn’t see our kids after frantically scanning the rooms, and then, just like that, I heard my mother in a choked-up whisper say “Karen!” There they were, rounding the corner… so tiny and quiet, and yet so acutely aware of us. We dropped to our knees, tears flowing, and held them until they were nearly hugged to death. I know Bryant was smiling down, and God was nudging me in that moment that this was WHY He let our boy die – so that these two children would find a permanent place in our hearts and get to enjoy a family. It was Bryant who initially opened the door. What a triumphant year this has been, on so many levels, really – the clarity has been so freeing. If you’re interested in reading the whole “story” and seeing pictures, our blog can be found at www.bringinghome2bs08.blogspot.com.
Brant is such a rock around here. He leads the way for the troops with integrity and zeal, and he even finds time to rub my feet every night. He also feeds seven mouths, though he’d be quick to tell you that he’s only the instrument God uses to provide for his family. That was a lesson that really stuck from our season of unemployment years ago -- it is God that provides for us, in every way. Brant thoroughly enjoys the job he gets to do at First Data, and had loads of fun leading the company’s re-branding effort earlier this year. His wife hates the travel he does (it could prove to be her unraveling!), but she sure loves the frequent flyer miles. Smile. Brant ran the Bolder Boulder for the 9th time with my dad, a mere 36 hours after returning from Africa. It’s become quite the tradition. His hobbies are family life, running/biking, hanging out with friends, occasional caricature gigs, and more family life. Tis the season we’re in!
After spending a few months looking 6 months pregnant, I finally dragged myself back to a surgeon 6 weeks before our trip to Africa. He discovered a massive hernia stemming from my multiple surgeries last year. Turns out, my fascia (read: crapped out abdominal muscles/previous incision sites) had given up their ghosts on a lot of levels. So, a day before my 37th birthday, I found myself laying in pre-op, enjoying the $400 “margarita” yet again. This time, though, I made it to the actual operating room before passing out on the heels of some story I was telling about my love of the beach (let’s be glad that was ALL I said). Smile. So, I spent my birthday puking in a hospital room -- not the best birthday on record, but certainly the most memorable. I was so motivated, though. I had kids to adopt, and no pesky hernia was stopping me. It’s still overwhelming to think about how my friends and family pulled together to care for us during yet another season of healing – we’d be lost without all of you! I now eat a vegetarian gluten-free diet to keep the swelling and pain at bay, and I’m feeling better than I have in ages – so ridiculously thankful for that. Had a colonoscopy a few weeks back that really pleased my colorectal surgeon, and I’m hoping this is the last chapter in my bowel saga – for your sakes and mine. Smile. I enjoy raising my kids, bike riding/running, attending BSF, cooking/eating, and, oh yea, raising my kids. I am just celebrating that marvelous intersection of what I dreamed my life would be and what it IS presently... it is that perspective that helps me through the often-exhausting days of parenting and investing in five young children. The intersection is better than I imagined it would be, though, and I’m dancing around in it, perhaps even stopping traffic. Has been a long, long time coming, and I intend to savor what God has given me in all its glory…
Booker, at age almost-11, is about to pass up his Nanna at 5’5”. As I type, he’s on a trip to DC with his beloved Nanna to illuminate all he’s studying this year about US History in 5th grade. Booker told me, though, when I asked him if he was excited to head back to school after spending 3 weeks off-track recently, “that if I could skip past all this school stuff and go straight in to the NFL, Mom, I would.” Football remains his passion, and he enjoyed a good season this year. He plays basketball and baseball, too. Spending a week at Camp Timberline with his buddies was a summer highlight. He’s learning to “tickle the ivories” instead of pounding out the beginner songs, and my favorite selection he plays at the moment is “Carol of the Bells”. Booker has a real ability to lead others with integrity and humility in school and on the field, and I told him recently that I’m glad God picked him to set the example for our kids. We celebrate that Booker loves the Lord, and that we see evidence of that relationship in his daily life.
Brooklyn is a 7-year-old 2nd grader and her curly hair is still curly. Joy of joys. Her sweet disposition is still intact, and we get a kick out of watching her “mother” her siblings. She is IN LOVE with Bella, and there’s a special sisterly bond developing between them. They dress alike often, signaling to the world their sisterhood, and I’m happy to indulge them in that way. School is Brooklyn’s passion, and “extra credit” is her middle name (I cannot relate!). She continues in ballet and started piano this year. Brooklyn and I headed back to Juarez, Mexico for 4 days with a team from our church/small group to build homes for deserving families there, and got to serve in a food outreach and church service as well. I loved watching my daughter’s love for the Lord spill over in to service for Him.
Bella is our firecracker (now, I CAN relate to this trait!). There’s a lot humming around in her head, and we’ve watched in amazement how she can communicate those things to us in English, her third language. Her accent remains, and I hope it holds out forever – it’s beautiful. I know she has a story to tell, and we’re waiting to hear all of it when she’s ready. Bits and pieces come out from time to time, and I hold them in my heart to share with her someday. She celebrated her 6th birthday with us in November, her first birthday party ever, and I can’t begin to tell you what a gift it was to make a fuss over a child who’s never been celebrated like that before. She was glowing the entire day. She is in kindergarten and moving along at a pace that delights her teacher (and shocks her parents). The school administration told us that she has rock star status at the school! Hilarious and so fitting, considering she’ll sing for ANYONE – no fear whatsoever. She’s been hit with some pretty serious health issues since she’s been ours -- it drives home that God knew she needed a family, but that He also knew she needed good healthcare. Honestly and truly, we forget she’s been adopted until somebody reminds us. Same goes for Bode. We adopted them, sure, but that happened once -- it’s a verb, not a state of being. We celebrate their past and their heritage, and intend to include those precious elements for a lifetime, but curse the day they ever feel they’re not a part of us.
Brock, our 3 1/2 year old, talks from the moment he wakes up, and can be heard chatting away with his roommate, Bode, until way past bedtime. Good thing Bode is a great listener. Smile. This is literally something he said, in his typical stream-of-consciousness style… “Mom, I don’t like the bees but I just farted and I did not poop but the bees sting people and I don’t like the bees and I’m hungry for dinner and where is Daddy and I not like fwuit and what you making for dinner and I not need another kiss but just four more and my Bode is so nice.” Seriously. We are NEVER bored with this one. He has the best, face-lightening smile, and when he’s not whining, he’s adorable. He tries to hug, kiss or smile his way out of trouble – and dang it, sometimes it works! He potty-trained this year – four down, one to go!
Bode, 9 months younger than Brock and a whopping 3 years old as of December 1st, is a LIGHT. I mean it. Everywhere that child goes, people are drawn to him. The orphanage staff told us this months ago, and they were right on the money. I think we’ve disciplined him twice since he’s been a Schelhaas, no joke. I know no child is perfect (duh), but he’s pushing the envelope (at least at this moment!). I love being around him – he snuggles head-on-your-chest style, speaks English in this high-pitched shrill, and giggles like an old man. All of us (and by that I mean the city of Denver and beyond) are completely smitten. I will snuggle him for 18 years if he’ll let me. Smile. He’s in the midst of potty training, and once he’s out of diapers, I’m out of my excuses for not having a dog. I’ve always said “no diapers AND dogs”. Oh, heaven help me.
I always like to take a paragraph every few years to discuss our marriage, and the very real place in which we find ourselves. Life’s many responsibilities have really snuffed out a lot of the day-to-day romance in our relationship. You can brush it aside, chalk it up to “the season of life”, but really, it’s incredibly important to the health of a marriage. Thankfully, we know that, and I trust that awareness will keep us on our toes. But we’re certainly knee-deep in a season that’s not going to afford us huge measures of alone time. So what do we do? We make each other laugh at the dinner table, we randomly hug and kiss to gross-out our kids, we blackberry crazy little love notes back and forth, we care about each other’s bowel habits (smile), and we savor the intimacy and “I know you” that 13 1/2 years of togetherness and commitment bring. I love that man, as crazy as he makes me (and I only delight his heart – HA!)… smile. Marriage is so much more about God’s refinement of us as individuals than about our “relationship”, or how we feel or don’t feel at any given moment. I do think our passionately resolved togetherness brings God glory, though, as messy as it is sometimes, and we celebrate that over piles of laundry and dirty dishes.
After attending a wedding in Illinois and visiting my Wheaton friend, Shannon, in early January, I threw Booker, Brooklyn and Brock in the van later that month and headed to Las Vegas via the Grand Canyon/Four Corners, and we enjoyed warmer temperatures, sheer adventure, and some dear friends who live there. Brant joined us after 5 days on our own, and then drove us home. In April, I got to enjoy the sunshine in Scottsdale post-surgery with friends from Denver for a weekend, and I partied till 3 AM with college friends in Cabo in May at the gorgeous wedding of my college roommate, Ahna (just 2 days before we departed for Africa!). The travel bug in my system stubbornly refuses Brant’s exorcism efforts -- smile. In July, we drove to North Dakota where all of Brant’s family warmly received our 2 newest kiddos. Playing at Grandpa and Grandma’s lake cabin with the cousins was a hands-down favorite. July is called “Lice Hell” around here – was the longest, most miserable 27 days of my LIFE. It’s still not funny, and my head STILL itches. On a lighter note, the Booker family descended on Snow Mountain Ranch in the beautiful aspen-splashed mountains of Colorado in early October. There were 20 of us in one (very large) cabin! We enjoyed everything the ranch had to offer and spent lots of time cooing over baby Jameson Patrick Booker, born to Mark and Mandy on August 1st. All of the time we have with our families gets increasingly precious as time marches on. Last month, I flew to Orlando and got in a visit with my 94-year-old great Aunt Dotty who spent the majority of her life serving the Lord in Nigeria. She and all her friends there really encouraged me to live purposefully – their stories had me in tears! My college girlfriend, Christa, picked me up late that night and we spent the rest of the weekend at the beach just BEING. It was a much-needed retreat for my tired body – and a real bath for my soul. Good friends are such treasures.
Obviously, adoption was BIG for us this year. It has served as a powerful lens in our lives. It’s changed my ideas about “normal families” – God can and DOES sew people together however He sees fit, and each family is beautifully quilted in its unique way. Adoption isn’t all roses, though, lest you think I have my head in the sand – Bella and Bode’s path to us was certainly bittersweet. Nevertheless, I believe God alone can fill the holes adoption sometimes creates, and perhaps those fractures are part of His divine plan to encourage all of us to trust Him. I choose to see them that way, anyway. I know Bella and Bode will experience difficulties as a result of being sewn in to our family, I do. But we intend to be armed with education, awareness, and love. They HAVE a family now, though, and that’s better than NOT having a family. This I know for sure.
That said, this year, I figure it’s my best chance to speak about adoption to all of you. Perhaps there’s been a twinge of “something” as you’ve read this letter or perused our blog – perhaps you’re sitting here reading with a pounding heart. Obviously, there are children all over this nation and globe who need families. Hear me when I say that I have great respect for the different journeys God puts in front of us. However, real lives are at stake, friends. Someone recently told me that, as Christians, we’re called to live lives of extreme inconvenience – how that plays out will be different for each of us as God directs, and I’m very aware of that, but the call remains clear. I’ve found that when we’re willing to really “go there” with God, He turns what we perceived as an extreme inconvenience in to something far more glorious than we could’ve imagined, in to blessings we never expected. I tell you, with my head humbly bowed, that Bella and Bode are monstrous gifts we might never have unwrapped if we had clung to our comforts or indulged our anxiety-laden fears (and believe me, we really struggled). These two kiddos are children just like any other children, with real needs and issues and bad days. But they are no longer children navigating life without parents, without a family, without a home. Bella no longer has to mother Bode. They are living proof of the transformative power God unleashes through adoption, of what lives can grow to BE when seasoned with love and acceptance. If any one of you is encouraged to take the next step toward adoption, don’t hesitate to hash through it with us. We’d be honored to walk with you.
Our family is complete, but living each day with such vivid reminders has birthed a passion for orphans we can’t ignore, and we’re excited to see what God might ignite in us – or in YOU -- in the future. The joy of this year has seeped deep down in to our bones and has settled there. We are more grateful than perhaps we have ever been… oh, the sweet love of Jesus. He has made beauty out of the ashes in all of our lives. Joy, joy, joy…
Triumphantly, Brant, Karen, Booker, Brooklyn, Bella, Brock and Bode Schelhaas… or better yet, The Schelhaas Seven
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